Posted in Random nothings

We all need to stop being ‘decent’

With the #metoo movement on everybody’s mind you would think that men will become more aware of their actions against women. Nope.

I have been thinking about writing this post since it happened, but I have been too upset about it. Just putting it down in words seemed “too much”. I have been upset that it happened. I was angry with myself for letting my guard down. I have been angry with myself for not standing up for myself….

Back story. Recently I have been at an event where I have been the photographer. I knew a few people at the event and I told my assistant (aka bodyguard) that he can go home and fetch me later. I was with “my people”. I went on with my work and as the night went on, made small talk with some of the guests at the event. For one split second I let my guard down and a person (one of “my people”) saw the opportunity when I came too close to his seat, to pull me onto him and make a vulgar statement to a total stranger whom I have been talking to at the time. I was in total shock. The guests were in shock. But nobody – including me, did anything. I just jumped off his lap and told him to do it to his wife and not me, and I walked off. My mind was racing, I have to be decent now… I am at work. I do not want to spoil the event for everybody. Don’t make a scene.

This is what we teach our children… Be polite. Be decent. ESP in public. Don’t make a scene. Don’t draw attention to you.

And I realized that night that this stops with me. My daughters do not need to be ‘decent’. I will not teach them that. If somebody makes you uncomfortable, say it. LOUD. Do not be ashamed to say how you feel. I will not raise little princesses, I will raise warriors. It is our job as mothers and fathers to teach our children to speak up, even if it means they are unpopular. Even if they ruin a whole event. Then we won’t have to have hastags to ‘come out’, we will be out. Loud, in these predators faces. Being decent little girls (and boys) are costing a whole generation their sanity. It stops here….



Owner of Geek World South Africa. Owner of Tipanga Photography.

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