Posted in Random nothings

Did social media change the village?


I am trying to write this that it does not sound like I am whining. So bare with me okay….

About a decade ago my best friend at the time went in for an operation. I did the logical thing – I made food for her husband and children, for at least the time she was in hospital, – froze it and they could just warm it up. The day she came from hospital I slept over (it was before I had kids of mine own) and made sure everything was okay at home for her. To me this was normal procedure of how friends cared for each other. My mom’s friends did it all the time when my mom went to hospital (and that was very often). They would drop off food, make turns to come visit and clean the house if she was sick for a while, bring flowers, send cards etc. It was our village.

Somewhere along the line, the village changed (or did just mine?) And this is where I’m trying not to sound like I’m whining and that somebody should have done more. This is just an observation of how our lives are at this moment.

I had an operation a week ago – I’ve not had a single visit, not a single friend popping in to check if we are okay. I’ve had hundreds of social media messages and two friends sending messages saying if I need anything I must let them know. So the question is – did social media replace real friendship? Is it enough to send somebody a ‘like’ on Facebook as support if you are REAL friends. I’m talking inner circle here….

Did friendship in general change? My friend of 25 years decided a few months ago to not be friends with me anymore. We never discussed anything. She just posted real ‘anti-anything I stand for’ posts for a while and then unfriended me on Facebook.  That was it…. 25 years of friendship gone. She won’t speak to me, she just ended it like that.

Am I missing something? Surely if we spend our lives as friends we deserve more than that?

I think the village changing has a lot of us really ‘lost’. Like we don’t really know where we fit in. I’ve been speaking to a few people recently and they all say the same thing. The need for real friends are there, but we have so much going on that it seems like we just don’t make time for it anymore. Work, children, life. We are in auto-pilot mode. It took a near death experience this week to make me take stock. Is work and making money really worth all of this? In all honesty – no. It’s time to make a few changes… I say it’s time to bring real people back into our lives….



Owner of Geek World South Africa. Owner of Tipanga Photography.

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