I have NO idea why sharing is such a difficult thing to learn (or in my case, teach). I think it’s also part of the ‘spiteful’ stage more than anything else. Sky (almost 3) will give a toy to Abby (almost 1). As soon as she takes the toy, Sky will pull it out of her hand as hard as possible, sending Abby flying – usually head first into the floor. Yesterday I gave both drinks. I left the room to come back a minute later and Abby’s drink is pushed to a side of a table where she can’t reach. Sky actually pushed it out of reach because she want to drink alone, Abby is not allowed to have her own drink. Punishment seems to just roll of her. So I had to restrain myself so badly and try and think of a way for her to see how nasty she is towards her sister. I then took her drink and kept it with me. Obviously causing tears and tantrums. I then explained to her that the way she is feeling now, is the way her sister feels when she does it to her. I am PRAYING that it actually went in. This morning she tried the same thing and I reminded her of how she felt and she asked for forgiveness.
Ten minutes later she gave her sister a doll and pulled it out of her hands so hard she fell over. So maybe I must just give up? Let them fight their own battles? But although Abby is almost 11 months old, she is very small and very baby still – she was prem and she has not caught up to her ‘age’ yet. My instinct is to protect her from her much bigger, much stronger and much more vocal sister.
On a lighter note, Abby who is struggling with some serious sensory development issues are doing so much better and she is becoming a real little character. Yesterday morning she worked her way into our bed as usual, but by 5am she had enough of this sleeping thing. She first poked her finger up my nose. I turned away and slept on. So she thought it would be much more interesting going after daddy. So she took her sock off and fed it to him. His face was priceless!
I found this piece on ‘Ask Dr Sears’ and though some of it I can use, some I don’t agree with “as much’, but I will let you decide what will work for you (if you are struggling with the same thing) and what to just ignore.
I like the ‘sharing wealth’ bit and I’m going to try that today – I will let you know how it worked out (or not). Also the timer seems to be such a great option as Sky loves our timer. Every morning when her daddy makes breakfast he uses the timer and she can’t wait for the thing to go off. And you won’t DARE to put it off, it’s her job. Even letting her share that responsibility might be an interesting exercise.