Posted in Random nothings

Friendship: Does it exist or is it extinct?

I love wikipedia’s definition of a friendship:

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association.


I’ve really been feeling the last while that friendship is dying out. The amount of REAL friends I have, I can count on my one hand and have some fingers to spare. Social media has claimed the word and to me, it killed the meaning. I have almost a 1000 friends online, how many has been in my house? How many knows me – the real me. Not the persona I have online. And trust me, there is a huge difference. What happened to the kind of friendship that if you need something, you can just ask and you would have people at your door within minutes – there to help you.

I thought I was the only one feeling this way, but seeing a lot of my online ‘friends’ post memes about friendship – or the lack there of, it seems to be a common thing to not have real friends anymore and to be very honest, it’s scaring the daylights out of me.

Being in hospital and not having a lot of ‘friends’ that came to visit, I was feeling really down. But this gave me time to think and also to observe the most precious friendship I’ve seen – ever. The lady I shared a room with is dying of cancer. Everybody knows that her time here will soon be over. Her friend came in EVERY day (she has been in hospital for more than a month now), she washed her when she needed washing, she did her hair, painted her toenails, sorted out her bedsores, rubbed massage oil on her sore body. When the sick friend got down – she told them to leave, she wanted to die in peace, the friend told her to pull herself together and start fighting, because she loves her and would not give up on her. When the sick one fell asleep, she would sit with her, holding her hand, weeping. But as soon as the friend woke up, she would put on a smile, tell her lame jokes and kept her part of the ‘outside world’.

I observed this every day and my heart longs for this. That person that no matter what, will be there, telling me to get my act together and pulling me through what ever is going on – even if I am kicking and screaming in protest. Have we became so busy making a ‘living’ that we forgot to live and love? And I know a lot of people reading this feels the same. And to them I just want to say – the best way to make a friend is to be a friend. Start being ‘that’ friend. The one that is there no matter what. It’s time that we start making an effort. You aren’t going to get that kind of friendship sitting in front of your computer. It’s not real. Don’t be fooled. You might have a lot of online friends, but trust me, they aren’t going to be the ones that comes to your aid when you need help. There is the exception, but they are few and far between. Go out, start being a friend. The world needs you.





Owner of Geek World South Africa. Owner of Tipanga Photography.

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