Over the weekend I saw that the packet of soup mix I bought has bugs in it. And we all know that nasty little buggers that gets into EVERYTHING else, so I had to open all the packets and put them in containers. I have a LOT of empty formula tins and they worked great. Only problem is having about 15 containers that looks exactly the same from the outside. I took some blackboard paint (crafters would understand that we always have things like this hanging around our homes) and painted strips on it to write on it. While doing it I looked at it and thought to myself why can’t mine look like the ones in the shop. They are so pretty and straight and have little curls. Mine is ugly. Just a strip of paint and I can’t draw a straight line if somebody held a gun to my head, with a ruler! Just not going to happen.
This is NOT how mine look:
But then the thought came to me, life is too short to worry about what the labels on your food tins look like. I’m going through a lot of health issues at the moment and need to have an operation done on Monday. There is some strange ‘mass’ behind my womb. We aren’t sure what it is, but we know it’s either just a very bad infection that went wrong, a cyst or cancer. We will only be able to tell after the tests comes back. But yes, there is a chance that I might have cancer. And the mass is huge. I look more pregnant now than what I did when I was pregnant. The mass is so big that it is pushing against my spine, making it difficult to walk and causing a lot of pain. It is also surrounding my ovaries, causing a lot of pain there as well. I also have a lot of cysts on the ovaries themselves that needs to be removed plus the mass has messed with my Endometriosis so I will need to have that removed as well. With all of this going on, are labels really important? Will they ever be important again?
I truly believe that this will not be cancer. We have been praying a lot and we are standing in faith that it is not. But just the idea that it could be is enough to really have shaken my whole foundation. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to look at life the same. At my children the same. At my husband the same. This is scary. Real scary. I find myself holding my girls a little longer before putting them to bed. I find myself not being as strict with them as what I usually am – is it really that big a deal if they make a mess?
I must say that this has also really made me rethink my relationship with God. I’ve always had a relationship with Him, but when you get face to face with a situation like this, things become much clearer. I found my hiding place in Him. The One that understands more than anybody else.
That is way more than what I wanted to share, so let me just say this as a final thought: Don’t sweat the small stuff, life is short. Let the kids make a mess. Who cares? Don’t worry about what your house looks like, nobody else does. Trust me.