Posted in Random nothings

Mommy shaming swings both ways

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I realize that I might not be very popular for this post, but that’s also ‘okay’. Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest.

I am VERY against mommy shaming. I truly believe that 99% of all moms do the best they can for their little ones. Sometimes things gets in the way. We just don’t know what struggles that mommy is going through. We all have a story to tell. But I am realizing more and more that there is this ‘movement’ against moms that do ‘too good’. Like – WHAT? I’ve been called ‘one of THOSE moms’. Been told I do too much, it makes other people look bad (for real now? I feel like I just don’t do enough. I don’t for one second think I’m doing that great!) How do you ever do too much for your kids? And for the record, I slip away at least once a week for the day just to not deal with my kids. That’s what I pay the aupair for. I work 3 jobs, I actually just spend time between 4 and 8 with my children. But we make it count.

I have two girls that both needs a lot of attention. Abby has sensory problems and Sky is hyper intelligent. Both needs to be worked with, played with, stimulated. It takes a lot of planning and both needs to be in routine. 5 Minutes can throw my whole day / evening out. Causing (like last night) Abby to not sleep at all. This morning at 1 she was still chatting away. Yeah me.

I’m rambling again….

My point is – if you can spend half an hour a day with your child, that’s awesome. If you only spend weekends with your child, that’s awesome. If you only see them on holidays, that’s sad, but it’s the best you can do and that’s awesome. If I made a decision to spend more time with mine and be one of ‘those’ moms, that’s also awesome. I have so many friends that would private message me to tell me that they have been shamed again for being involved in their child’s world again. We as women seriously needs to realize that we don’t need to step on each other to feel better about ourselves. We don’t need to feel worse about ourselves if somebody seems to have their shit more together than others. Because trust me, it’s mostly just smoke and mirrors. We all loose it, we all want to go hide in the bathroom with very strong alcohol and not come out until the little buggers are sleeping. We all love our children – even the loud ones, the silent ones (I want one of those please), the cheeky ones (I have two – wanna swop anybody?), the ones that behaves and the ones that runs amok in public. We all just need to chill. This is not a competition. The only prize is our children’s love and of that, there are more than enough for all of us.

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Author:

Owner of Geek World South Africa. Owner of Tipanga Photography.

3 thoughts on “Mommy shaming swings both ways

  1. Well said T. And how dont we feel guilty most of the time when we are doing what we need to do and leave them watching TV… My bad

    Like

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