I keep telling myself that I must just keep on keeping on. Abby will start eating properly – the treatment is working, well sort of. Sky will stop breaking every possible thing we buy her or her sister. But to be honest, today I just don’t see the bright side of being a mom. Yes I love these two brats with all my heart and I will kill for them. But I’m sitting in my office, locked away behind a door so they can’t find me. Thank goodness for an amazing aupair. I would have been lost without her.
I’m tired of making four to six different meals before Abby would even consider putting it in her mouth. I feel this is my whole day. I make food, to be spit out, thrown out, puked out. Yes I do get that it’s not her fault and the treatment is helping a bit but it’s so frustrating to know your child is hungry but she just can’t seem to eat anything you offer her. With her dairy / soya / egg allergies and gluten intolerance not a lot is left to feed her in anyway!
I’m tired of fighting with Sky because as soon as I give attention to Abby, who is always 5 second away from having a melt down because that’s what sensory problems do, pulls apart her toys. This morning she already broke the owls my mom made them – she pulled the ears off and fed it to Abby, who almost choked on the wool. Plus she pulled apart her flower crown that she demanded she wear today because, well, “She is the queen of the world”.
I know these problems are not unique. They are what happens when you have children. I get it, but today, I’m just fed up and that’s also okay. Just now I will go play with them and everything will be forgotten. Because that’s what moms do. We love, we forgive and we carry on.