This mornings 4am when Abby was as sick as can be with reflux and I couldn’t dare to sleep as I was worried she would suffocate in her own puke, I had a lot of time to think. Going through my Facebook I saw moms attacking each other for how they handle their babies. From what bottles they use, the nappies they use, if they breastfeed, what medicine they use.
And yes we all do it. But this morning after not sleeping the whole night, I took some Karvol and rubbed in on myself and let Abby sleep on my chest (she is too small to use it herself). In my desperation I would do anything for my child to just breathe easily enough to have a bottle. We all have different opinions, we all grew up in different homes. And I do agree there is some weird advice out there. From oil car oil on their skins to Cream Soda in their bottles and everything in between. But how desperate must a mom be to consider doing something like that? A mom will do anything to make her child better. I would not recommend using most of these things going around for reflux etc but I think it’s important that we realize babies do not come with labels. There is no such thing as a textbook baby. Abby is suppose to be drinking 180ml at a time. I can’t get more than 120 at a time in her if I’m lucky. So the whole formula thing is not working like it is ‘suppose’ to. I have to feed her a lot less at a time but a lot more often. I do have an app that helps me record her feeding so I try to be as close as possible to how much she must have in 24 hours. But it does not always work out like that. And I have now stressed myself into an ulcer because of this. So at 4am I realized that what does it matter if she is drinking 90 ml every 2 hours or 180ml every 4? Does it matter if she skips a feed because she is sleeping? She is picking up weight at a steady rate and except for the horrible reflux she seems happy. They do NOT come with labels. I had so much pressure on me to breastfeed. But my ulcer leaked into my body and it made her very sick. Making me stress even more because my body is now not just failing me, but also my child. I felt like a complete failure. I mean breastfeeding should be the most natural thing on earth.
But let me get back to my original point – Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves with others? Why do we feel we have the right to have an opinion on how others raise their children? I am getting advice from complete strangers in shops. I can’t even imagine myself walking up to a stranger and telling her how to raise her child / what formula she should use or what nappies are better. If something works for them – why do we feel the need to let them do something the way WE do it? This is the most random situation ever. My brain can’t compute. Surely we can’t all be this vain to think that our way is the ONLY way? Can we? And as moms we feel the pressure to fit in. To not do something that would be frown upon because in the end all we want is the best for our children.
So let’s be kind. Let’s be open to the idea that our way is not the ONLY way that works. And if we find something that works for us, not be intimidated into not doing it because it’s not in some book or frown upon by some social group. I say screw them, you listen to your instinct and take care of your child…